Getting my Tool Box in Order

Anyone that truly knows me, know that my garage reflects where I a truly am in my life at any one time. When I am feeling good, I am not rushed or overwhelmed by a deadline, and have time to myself ...the garage where I work on my projects is a fun place to be and reasonably organized. 

On the other hand...when I am under the gun, scrambling on some project or maybe more than one....and even more so when I am just not feeling great mentally or physically ...the garage's condition goes downhill. Jo, God bless her, allows me to go through these cycles and never a word is uttered.  I always make sure her bay is clear for for her to park....but sometimes it's tight as my mess sprawls out over the other 2 bays, one of them being 50 foot deep. How or why she puts up with this I will never know. 

To say the garage has been a shambles for the last 5 months would be an understatement. I have been in a funk since losing my best buddy that has been hard to shake. Unless you are a "dog person" that's probably hard to understand...and maybe it's crazy....but that's the way it is. I have not been excited about much and pretty much had to almost force myself to do anything around the house. Of course, anyone that owns a house knows that they are worse than maintaining a boat. They are always in need of yard work, maintenance, cleanup....etc.  And...I let it go. It just was not important. 

I also apparently let myself go. I gained weight that I can barely afford to be carrying around at this age in my profession,  and allowed my conditioning to deteriorate to a point that demands immediate attention on my part. I also found out my blood sugar is high..too high. 

So..  it's time to pull it all back together. 

"Scout" patiently awaiting completion and fall sailing

 The Paradox sits in the garage. I made myself a deal. Once I get all the things I have been neglecting caught up....I can get back to finishing "Scout" so I can sail her this September.  That is one thing that for some reason has remained exciting to me and I can use to motivate myself. The process in underway. As far as "me"....I am on a new dietary plan and am back to working out daily. It's a pain in the ass but I have done it before and the results will come.  As for everything else, well,  the yard was the first thing. That took some serious time...but I have it back where it was a year ago...and once again we can feel good about someone driving by and looking at it. "Dauntless" is all cleaned and put away from the San Juan Cruise. The truck and camper have each had an entire day spent on them cleaning up from the 3800 miles we traveled last month..... and then there's....  the garage.  Yes, the garage. It was so bad that I didn't want the doors to be open to reveal how badly it needed to be cleaned and organized.  Well, today was the start of the garage project.  After a full day I am well on track to getting it back where I need it to be in order for me to feel good enough about it to begin work on the Paradox. 

At the completion of the work tonight I felt frustrated. Frustrated that I allowed this to deteriorate to this level...frustrated that I have been basically "stalled" for 5 months. Yes, we went on vacation and it was great.... but I just have not mentally been in a place I want to be for a long time.  What I finally figured out is that I need NO deadlines for a while. I don't need to be in a place where I am working on any schedule/project other than my regular days at work...and then whatever I feel needs to be done on my days off.  Not having the HPCC going on right now...is actually a Godsend. I don't think I have it in me. My goal right now is to commit to nothing, other than getting my act together. I am not promising anyone that I will be done with the Paradox at any particular time other than the time that suits me,  and the plan can and will change to adjust to my liking....daily if necessary. I'm not promising to be at any location/event at any time other than my scheduled work. I'm not on a deadline to get the boat ready for a trip, I haven't committed to a schedule of sailing with anyone, I'm not working a second job,  or anything else.......and I gotta say .....that feels good. 

My tool box has not looked like this in a LONG time

Seeing my toolbox all organized for the first time in a long,long time....kind of mimics my life I think. I'm working on getting the tool box all cleaned out, organized and ready for a future project. But for right now....getting the toolbox itself organized IS the project. Such is my life right now. It's time I got "my toolbox" in order so I can eventually stand back, take a deep breathe, look at all the blessings I have, and smile. Then we'll make some plans. Till then, one day at a time. I thank God I have such a great gal who is beside me every step of the way....and we have a 50lb, fluffy, white. clown running around the house...driving me crazy, yes  ....but doing his best to find his way into our hearts. He is. 

The garage project continues tomorrow....whenever I feel like getting up. :-)